For the last couple of months, we’ve been exploring sexuality and coming out from an Ifa perspective. This month we’re taking a look at romantic partnerships and Ifa. Knowing yourself, and being open with your potential romantic interests, is the only way to create a successful long-term relationship. We’ll expand a little bit beyond sexuality this month and look at being open in general and how it serves us. Your identity as an Ifa practitioner is one of the things that can be complicated to explain at the beginning of a relationship. But, unless your partner knows the real you, your relationship isn’t real.
We are all here to develop as human beings. A big part of how we do that is through intimate relationships of all kinds. Everyone’s Ifa path is a journey into wholeness. We understand that the person we met today will likely be radically different in a number of years. In Ifa we assume that relationships when they work, are between whole people. The more of ourselves we bring to the table the closer our bonds will be. That closeness allows us to weather the changes that everyone in the relationship will inevitably go through.
We’ve discussed the implications of hiding from ourselves and the issues it can cause for accomplishing our destinies. But, what about when we hide from others? If we assume that relationships are there to help us learn and grow, and so to fulfill our destinies, then the same applies. If you do not give someone the chance to love the real you then the relationship can’t thrive. Settling for someone who isn’t a fit will provide plenty of difficult learning but why put yourse
lf through it?
It’s normal to hold back a little bit at the beginning of a relationship. Once the delights of New Relationship Energy start to fade and you’re really getting to know each other, you should become more and more real. For the children of the more extroverted Orisa, it’s usually easier. For people who are more naturally pulled back, it can be difficult, but also more empowering.
Whether it’s explaining your attraction dynamics or telling your new person about Ifa, recognize that there may be some education to do. Be prepared for questions. Be ready to explain something that they don’t understand in a way that is kind but firm. There is a whole lot of bad information on the internet about just about everything. Balancing that misinformation is part of what you’ll have to do. But, make sure that you really understand where you’re at, and what you need to share, beforehand. Being prepared will go a long way in making the experience easier.
You may be concerned that this approach is going to reduce the pool of available people. You’re right, it will. It’s kind of like marketing but with much more serious implications. Just like I’ve learned that attracting the right client is critical, it’s also best to attract, and date, only “right fit” potential partners. Otherwise, you’ll spend a lot of time trying to make relationships that don’t make sense work.
That doesn’t mean having a checklist that people must meet. We’re talking about being as open and honest as possible when you’re first getting to know each other. That’s what good character demands. Starting a relationship that way ensures that you won’t have big secrets to deal with later. It’s also the best way to make sure that your new person is falling in love with the real you.